i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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