I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
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I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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