thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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