Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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