If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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