See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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