is your mom at the bar?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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