Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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