i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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