we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize