Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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