xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize