when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize