I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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