Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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