i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They took my balls.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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