Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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