hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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