This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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