I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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