it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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