he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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