It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize