It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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