i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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