dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize