some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize