Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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