Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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