You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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