I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize