Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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