Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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