I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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