I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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