I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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