The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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