Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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