Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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