you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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