Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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