where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize