What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize