All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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