Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize