Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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