If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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