I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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