Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize