ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize