I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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